At St. Paul’s, we are committed to fostering a positive and supportive school environment. As part of our ongoing Wellbeing Program, we provide students with valuable learning opportunities that promote kindness, confidence, and respect among peers. One important focus is addressing Mean Girl Behaviour and encouraging Positive Vibes to ensure a culture of inclusivity and support. This aspect of our program has been developed in collaboration with Susie Page, Head of Counselling at our partner school, The Pennington School.
Understanding Mean Girl Behaviour
We explore different forms of unkind behaviour that can sometimes be subtle yet deeply impactful. One key concept discussed is gaslighting, where someone manipulates another into doubting their own feelings or reality. This can leave individuals feeling confused and powerless, which is why it is important to recognize and call out such behaviour.
We also highlight the difference between intentional and accidental actions. Sometimes, hurtful words or exclusion happen without malice, but the impact remains significant. Learning to reflect on our actions and their consequences helps us build stronger, more empathetic relationships.
From Bystander to Upstander
A major goal of our Wellbeing Program is to empower students to transition from being bystanders—those who witness unkind behaviour but remain passive—to upstanders, who actively support and defend their peers. We encourage the use of the 4 D’s of Intervention, which offer practical ways to respond to unkind behaviour:
- Direct: Confront the behaviour in a respectful and firm way. Example: “That’s not okay. Please stop.”
- Delegate: Seek help from a teacher, mentor, or trusted adult when direct intervention feels challenging.
- Distract: Defuse the situation by redirecting attention or changing the subject to interrupt the negative behaviour. Example: Asking the target a random question or starting a new activity.
- Delay: If immediate action isn’t possible, check in with the affected person later and offer support. Example: “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about what happened?”
By choosing to act, even in small ways, students can create a ripple effect that makes a big difference in the school community.
Encouraging Positive Interactions
Our Wellbeing Program at St. Paul’s is designed to support students in developing emotional resilience, empathy, and positive relationships. Through workshops, discussions, and collaborative initiatives, we provide the tools and strategies needed to navigate challenges and foster a respectful and inclusive environment. By working together, we continue to build a school culture where every student feels valued, supported, and empowered to thrive.
Through education and open conversations, we are shaping a generation that values respect, inclusivity, and genuine friendships. Let’s continue to support one another and make kindness the norm at St. Paul’s!